Tuesday, June 22, 2010

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

I wrote this a few days ago, but just got around to posting...
"In this world you will have trouble, but I leave you my peace, that where I am there you may also be...." These words, based on scripture (John 16:33, 14:27), sung by the late Rich Mullins are what has been playing over in my mind this morning as I have awoken to all that awaits me this beautiful June morning. Twice have I read this scripture recently in the Jesus Calling (JC) devotional. Funny how it takes a while for truth to really set in. Sarah Young wrote in JC the question God posed to her, which is, "Why are you suprised when you actually encounter trouble?" (paraphrase) Today's trouble was waiting for me in the form of a leaking sink left dripping all night. The evidence was not only seen under the sink but also coming through the ceiling downstairs when I was on my way out the door for a sanity moment (walk to starbucks armed with worship on my ipod) before every one got up. After dealing with the mess upstairs, a pot was put under the drip downstairs and I was out the door to salvage what was left of my time alone :-) As I started walking, I noticed in myself a sense of shame and guilt for the leaking that was happening. Perhaps it is coupled with the fact that we have a handful of trouble left over from yesterday in the form of other house woes. "What have we done wrong?" Was the question I heard in my head. Therein lies what God really wanted to deal with me with. Why is it that when something goes wrong, we ( I am assuming I am not alone in this) automatically try and rehearse all that we have done to cause the trouble? I then noticed that the worry that maybe we made a bad decision in buying this house was causing me to feel ashamed, even before my God. It also exposes my pride. I don't want it to be seen that I might have made a bad decision or that we were mistaken in what we felt led to do. Ugh. Then comes the truth. I am not here to look good. I am not here to show anyone how to make good sound decisions. I am here to bring glory to God, to be less, so that He can be more in me and through me, to boast in my weaknesses. How incredibly counter-flesh that is. I was reading in 1 Kings where David was giving his charge to Solomon who was about to take the throne. He was urging his son to be faithful to follow God and obey with all his heart and soul. If he did, God PROMISED that there would always be a man on the throne to rule over Isreal. Time, of course, showed that faithfully following God did not last long in that family line, but what I know is that God would have been faithful to that promise. He is ALWAYS faithful to keep his promises. As sure as the sun rises He will not break the covenants he makes with His people. There in lies the peace He has left with me. He promises to care for his kids. He promises to provide. He promises that He will never let His righteous ones see decay. He is the lifter of my head, the lover of my soul.
And He ALWAYS will be because that is who He is and because Jesus opened a door to the Father that no man can shut, that no leak can flood, that no trouble can overshadow. So now then the question is not, "Why did this happen?" But "What does God want to do in this and through this and in me?" I am glad I got to this place before I walked in the door to an eight year old with a swollen, puffy, red, hurting eye....

2 comments:

We Are Family said...

That is beautiful and honest.

Melissa said...

I know Mandy, it is such a struggle. I have asked myself and God the same question recently..."What did I do?" and the sister to that "What have I not done?" Thanks for sharing your heart and what God is teaching you!