T-R-O-U-B-L-E

I wrote this a few days ago, but just got around to posting...
"In this world you will have trouble, but I leave you my peace, that where I am there you may also be...." These words, based on scripture (John 16:33, 14:27), sung by the late Rich Mullins are what has been playing over in my mind this morning as I have awoken to all that awaits me this beautiful June morning. Twice have I read this scripture recently in the Jesus Calling (JC) devotional. Funny how it takes a while for truth to really set in. Sarah Young wrote in JC the question God posed to her, which is, "Why are you suprised when you actually encounter trouble?" (paraphrase) Today's trouble was waiting for me in the form of a leaking sink left dripping all night. The evidence was not only seen under the sink but also coming through the ceiling downstairs when I was on my way out the door for a sanity moment (walk to starbucks armed with worship on my ipod) before every one got up. After dealing with the mess upstairs, a pot was put under the drip downstairs and I was out the door to salvage what was left of my time alone :-) As I started walking, I noticed in myself a sense of shame and guilt for the leaking that was happening. Perhaps it is coupled with the fact that we have a handful of trouble left over from yesterday in the form of other house woes. "What have we done wrong?" Was the question I heard in my head. Therein lies what God really wanted to deal with me with. Why is it that when something goes wrong, we ( I am assuming I am not alone in this) automatically try and rehearse all that we have done to cause the trouble? I then noticed that the worry that maybe we made a bad decision in buying this house was causing me to feel ashamed, even before my God. It also exposes my pride. I don't want it to be seen that I might have made a bad decision or that we were mistaken in what we felt led to do. Ugh. Then comes the truth. I am not here to look good. I am not here to show anyone how to make good sound decisions. I am here to bring glory to God, to be less, so that He can be more in me and through me, to boast in my weaknesses. How incredibly counter-flesh that is. I was reading in 1 Kings where David was giving his charge to Solomon who was about to take the throne. He was urging his son to be faithful to follow God and obey with all his heart and soul. If he did, God PROMISED that there would always be a man on the throne to rule over Isreal. Time, of course, showed that faithfully following God did not last long in that family line, but what I know is that God would have been faithful to that promise. He is ALWAYS faithful to keep his promises. As sure as the sun rises He will not break the covenants he makes with His people. There in lies the peace He has left with me. He promises to care for his kids. He promises to provide. He promises that He will never let His righteous ones see decay. He is the lifter of my head, the lover of my soul.
And He ALWAYS will be because that is who He is and because Jesus opened a door to the Father that no man can shut, that no leak can flood, that no trouble can overshadow. So now then the question is not, "Why did this happen?" But "What does God want to do in this and through this and in me?" I am glad I got to this place before I walked in the door to an eight year old with a swollen, puffy, red, hurting eye....

Crossing over

So lately, every where I go, just about, I encounter someone, believers and some not, who are interested in or are pursuing adoption. For some, the call is so near, it almost engulfs them. It is all they can think about until God starts to put things in motion. It is kind of like watching someone in labor:-) Ask any woman, the week or so (some even longer) before she delivers, she is SOOO ready! Enough preparation already, bring it on! I have gotten the privilege of being with several friends during their births, and there are some definate signs of stages of labor that are in many ways identical in each process. It is funny to see some similar "progression of stages" during the adoption process. I told Brian that what I am seeing is not so much that many people are all of the sudden "deciding" to adopt. I mean, we didn't just start having orphans recently, they have been around for a while. I believe that there is a spiritual movement, started by the very heart of God to care for these kids. Why now? I don't know. I do know God sees the full picture of eternity and time and I am sure there is a bigger kingdom purpose to all of it than what any of us can realize. God is doing something big, all on his own, and is inviting a lot of people to join Him. The reason I call this one crossing over, is because I believe that during the process, many times He also changes our hearts. We start out thinking that this is about us. We decided to adopt. We are starting the process. The reality, all you did was say yes to something God called you to. You cross over from a "us" centered purpose and God begins to show you the "Him" centered plan. I came across this verse this morning, and it really spoke to me. "I know longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything I have learned from my Father, I have made known to you." John 15:15. He has made us about His business. What an exciting thought that we are actually joining God in something He is doing. That gives me an extrodinary amount of peace knowing that He can't fail in His pursuits, which means in Him, neither can I. Not to mention that He calls us friends. Wow.

Egg hunt anyone?

Recently, I was talking to my oldest son about God and as I was talking, God began to put a picture in my head to help me illustrate the point I was trying to make to him. While I will skip the background story except to say it was around Easter, the conversation went something like this. "How would you feel, Ben, if I woke you up on Easter and said let's go on an Easter egg hunt, only to walk down stairs and show you that I had put all the Easter eggs in a big pile in the kitchen. Granted they are all still full of treats, but they aren't hidden. What would that be like?" Of course he said, no fun. That is when I shared with him that God has given us an innate curiousity and desire to discover and that He is what is in the Easter eggs. He has tucked these treasures all over the universe. Some are found in books, some are found in relationships, some are found in brokenness and pain, some are found in places that you didn't even know you were looking for an egg in. Some are found in the eyes of a child waiting to be adopted. Many of you know the story of my niece and her homecoming, Josie Love Mayernick. Suzanne and I often talked about how much of a treasure she is and one day I added that she was a hidden treasure. God hid a unique thumbprint of His beauty in her, and it took a journey filled with uncertainty, pain, and faith to get to the point where that egg could be opened and revealed in perfect timing. We don't always know what is going to be inside the egg. Like I said, much of the time we don't even really know that we are on an egg hunt. But rest assured, He has done this very thing. Matthew says the kingdom of God is like treasure hidden in a field and it is worth selling all you have to attain.

Why International?

From the very beginning of our journey, there were different questions or comments that came up over and over again along the way. One of them was, "Why do you want to go adopt all the way across the world when there are kids right here in America that need homes?" Most of the time, I believe this was simply asked out of genuinecuriousity and not with ill-intent. Either way, it came up again today so Ithought I would take a moment to respond to this. It is a good question for which there is not one simple answer, but I will share my thoughts. First, I think when people ask this question, there is an assumption that adoption was ONLY a choice of the adoptive family. This fails to recognize a basic Christian principle that God has prepared in advance good works for those who are now followers of him. He has a plan for each of our lives and it was authored by Him. So in essence, while we make the choice to adopt, we are also recognizing that He has something in mind, and it then becomes a journey to discover Him and that plan. It is obvious that His plan for some families is to seek to adopt here in the US, and some overseas. So ultimately, I think that question should be directed to Him and He would welcome it :-) My second response to this is this: recently, Haiti experienced a terrible tragedy. The earthquake that hit completely devastated this country in so many ways. When news of the devastaion hit, Americans and mandy other people in nations abroad joined together in an effort to respond with all kinds of aid for these broken and suffereing people. You didn't hear people say, "Well, we have homeless, hungry people here in the US (or Great Britain, etc) , shouldn't we feed them and take care of all of them before we run off to Haiti?" No. We heard of people in desperate need and we responded to meet that need. See, we are made in the image of God and are thus, His image-bearers.
As the bearers of His image, we will be sensitive to those in need, no matter where they live, just as He is. In many cases of overseas adoption, this is what has happened. Someone hears of a situation of an individual child, or of crises in an area, and are broken and moved to respond with the same love, compassion, and care our Papa God shows to all who are broken and in need. His loving arms reach all over the globe and show no favoratism or partiality in regards to race or nationality, so why, then, if we are made in His image, made to do what we see the Father do, being lead by His Spirit, would we not do the same thing? Even from a political standpoint, where would the world be if America had never looked out for those vulnerable people in other nations and reached out to them, despite that we haven't fixed every single problem in our country first? Simply put, I just don't think love has borders. I believe in reaching out to those in need here, which many, many are doing, and those in other nations. As believers, we are called to make disciples of all nations. Jesus called us to the ends of the earth. I see this as just one snapshot of how that call is fufilled.

We MUST do something...

I recently watched a video on the church's response the the orphan and the widow, in it, they were talking about how terrorists are now starting to target orphans, abducting them to train them up to be terrorists. Is there a more clear picture of the intentions of the enemy than this? The enemy is an opportunist and wants to take the most innocent and vulnerable of our society and do what he does best....steal, kill, and destroy. He is doing this in very overt and clear ways. What happens to those who do not get adopted? For many of them, their lives end up on a path of complete and total destruction. Sex-slavery, prostitution, drugs, child-soldiers (who, by the way, are often sodomized and infected purposefully with HIV upon arrival at these soldier camps), terrorists, alcoholism. Where the church does not step in, the enemy will and the results will be devastating and not just to these children, but to society. Contrast this to what happens to these same children when a loving, Christian family adopts and or takes responsibility for these children, then they are given the opportunity to get to know the One who loves them, made them, and has GOOD plans for their lives, not just here on earth, but for all of eternity. This is quite a contrast. It is the contrast we all face as humans spiritually as we chose to accept Christ or not. I know not EVERY believer is called to participate in EVERY ministry that has been formed. I personally don't want anyone to feel guilted into serving the Father in any way. However, there are certain things that scripture teaches are things that we should all be doing, things we don't need to wait for God to "call" us to. My job as a believer is never to convict anyone of anything. The Holy Spirit is fully capable of executing this job with grace and perfection. But, I cannot read the facts and statistics and not raise my voice in response. So, I am going to give you a list of scriptures that outline how we as the church are called to respond to the widow and the orphan. The way this response is explained in scripture denotes provision, concern, and consideration that was to be consistently incorporated as a way of life into the lives of God's people, not just a once in a while or and occasional when I feel like it type of response. Here are some of the references: Exodus 22:22-24, Deuteronomy 10:18, 14:29, 16:11, 16:14, 24:17, 24:19, 24:20, 24:21, 26:12, 26:13, 27:19; Job 24:9, 29:12, 31:16-18,21-22, Psalm 10:14,17-18, 68:5, 146:9, Proverbs 23:10-11, Isaiah 1:17, Jeremiah 5:28, 7:5-7, 22:3, Hosea 14:3, Zechariah 7:10, Malachi 3:5, John 14:18, Romans 8:23, 9:4, Galations 4:5, Ephesians 1:5, James 1:27 . Herein lies not only evidence that we are called to respond, all of us, but moreover and more importantly, look at how these scriptures reveal an intimate and precious portion of God's heart. God gave his most precious gift in Christ SO THAT WE MIGHT BE ADOPTED into his family. Clearly, adoption is centered in the very heart of God himself. To care for the orphan is to journey to get to know this portion of God's heart in a more clear and intimate way. I also have observed a wave going through the church (and also non-believers....for he reigns down on the just and the unjust) that He is burdening people in mass numbers to mobilize on behalf of the orphan and the widow to care for them, through MANY avenues, including adoption, foster care, sponsership, etc.... There are multiple ways to care for them. However, each of us needs to ask the spirit what that looks like in our individual lives, but rest assured, we are called to do something, not just look the other way. Jesus is always full of grace and full of truth. There is never a compromise of one for the other, so I ask and pray that my words will come across in the same way. But I do sense an urgency in my spirit for these precious children especially in light of what is also mobilizing against them. If you feel burdened, pray, press in to Him and listen, go to that meeting, make that phone call, start somewhere and God will begin to guide your steps, close and open doors. If you don't feel a concern, pray God gives you one. Ask that you might feel just a drop of what He does towards these children. I know GOd has to continue to soften my heart towards the things that He values all the time. Don't be afraid, for He will provide for you and in the process, you discover the greatest reward of getting to know Him more, trust him more and depend on him more. Please, Father, move in the hearts of your children, mobilizing them on behalf of the fatherless so that there won't be any children who don't know they are loved, and cared for, and made for a purpose.

What is the hub of your wheel?

God often puts pictures in my head to help explain truth to me. I guess I am a bit more impacted by visual images than just by words. One of the clearest pictures once was a wagon wheel. He was explaining to me that in our faith, Jesus represents the center hub and all of the spokes represented the life or expressions of our faith that flow out of the hub. In other words, the righteous acts, the good works, they are all centered on Christ himself and flow out from Him. I believe that all things we are called to whether it be adoption, or helping the homeless, or ministering to people of other faiths, that there is one ultimate unifying purpose. It is the same purpose for which God sent Christ, made the earth, and does all of what He does. It is the revelation of Himself and by that I don't just mean what He does, but the very essence of who He is. Whether He is proclaiming it to the world, or in a very intimate personal way to one person, His heart is the same. He is revealing Himself in all his glory, goodness, strength, grace and love to all of the universe. Knowing that helps me to stay centered. There is singular pursuit in the depths of my heart and that is to know more of Him and ultimately be able to help others see Him in their lives, too. I believe He is what our hearts long for more than anything else. I truly just love him and who He is. He is so gracious and patient with me. He doesn't get angry and mad at me when I make mistakes or am slow to learn as I often am. Because of how sweet He is to me, I just want to be with Him. He is the safest place my heart knows. He is FULL of grace and deals with his creation in the most graceful ways. It is always good to remember your chains. Remember where you were before God called you to some form of service. Remember the fears, the uncertainties, even the resistance. Remember the grace with which He called you to this. We are called to be no less graceful in our service to Him. We are ultimately here to reveal Him, in the fullest way we know how to. Whether that be through adoption or what ever you have been called to we are here to show His heart to the world. Having said that, I am here to say that our pursuit to adopt began as a graceful invitation. He pricked my heart as He opened my eyes the plight of the children of China many years ago. Later, He worked in my husband's heart to give us unity about it. He later provided the resources, the direction and the grace to calm all our fears in the process. He worked to bring us to a deeper place in our relationship with Him. We were painfully inadequate and sometimes downright afraid and unwilling. That is how each of us begin our journeys. We have nothing to bring to the table. God does it. So my hope is that through my story you can see God's faithfulness. How mighty He is. I hope you can see his sweet heart for the fatherless and how he goes to great lengths to show his love to them to make them feel wanted, accepted, and loved. I want our story to inspire you to trust Him more. If He is stirring your heart to adopt, just know that He will provide for all your needs: emotionally, physically, and in every other way. And in the process you will be blessed to know a deeper part of His heart. God is moving in HUGE ways right now to place the fatherless in homes and to revive the church so that we see our call to care for them. He is not only pouring out his heart and passion for this but releasing resources for it as well. He is just calling you to join Him! It is His call, His work, we are just blessed to be vessels for Him.

What other choice do we have?

Dreams. Dreams are SO powerful. Nothing can make one feel like they are riding on the highest cloud or crashing to the depths of the ocean floor than a dream realized or one crushed. I have had both. Looking in the eyes of my daughter, is one realized. Then there are those waiting on the wind. Ones I don't know if will ever be fulfilled. I do know this, I cannot put my hope in them. Maybe there is someone reading this with the dream to adopt. Maybe you even feel like you heard from the Lord on this, yet, the doors just don't seem to open. Or maybe your dream is something different. It doesn't really matter what that is. What does matter is what you do with it, or rather, to whom you take it to. Standing on the edge of your desires, what choice is there but to completely abandon yourself to the one who made you? I love and am passionate about adoption. I hope one day to adopt more God (and husband :-) willing, but I am even more passionate about seeing God become bigger and more real in peoples lives. I was born and raised in a Christian home, which I am grateful for, but it presents its challenges in the way of not reducing your faith to a religion. I got to a point in my life where I was SO tired of religion and yet I knew there HAD to be more. Let me tell you, there was. And there HE was. When I got tired of trying to DO, I came to HIM and asked Him to show me more. He hasn't stopped showing me more since. He wasn't kidding when He told Abraham that HE was the great reward. These were his words AFTER he began to spell out all that HE would do through Abraham....He still said HE was the great reward. The promise is not the reward. The adoption is not the reward. The dream is not the reward. HE is the very great reward. The struggle for me is to not forget that and begin to think that I must acquire the promises (blessings) of GOd in order to be fufilled. Right now I am in the midst of wrestling with that very thing. I cannot make things happen and don't want to . Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel because it is too hard to want something and not be sure that I am going to get it. I want to let go and hold on all at the same time. I guess I am coming to that familiar place that I have been so many times and realizing what choice do I have but to lay it all at the feet of my precious savior who has over and over and over again proven his love, faithfulness and good intentions toward me. What other good choice is there?