Friday, January 29, 2010

Down for the Count...

Well, it hit today. I knew I couldn't avoid it for forever, it has been at least two or three years since I had a stomach virus, and it made a visit today. Praise GOd, and I mean that in ALL sincerity that it was only about 12 hours. But it was 12 hours of praying for many family members and friends in between lifting up prayers for Jesus to come back! So, since I have been laying in bed for the last twelve hours, I now am feeling SO much better (nothing like a BIG glass of gingerale!) However, my new burst of energy is hitting me at 1245 AM. SO, I am checking blogs, email, facebook, and the like and trying to catch up on all my people. I may even have to go and take some pictures of my house as I have NO idea what has been happening today! I do remember at one point seeing my little ones with a full bag, Costco size, of shredded cheese walking around the house at one point. I rememeber trying to mumble something to them from the couch, but it was to no avail. I think I heard my husband later when he got home trying to get my eight year old to vaccuum. I just laid there and told myself that there isn't anything that can't be replaced or fixed later. Ha! I also got the privelidge (why can't I spell that word!!!?) in all my time of praying for my sweet sister in law Karen and her husband today as they were in Russia standing before a judge in order to take custody of their son! God had some mountains to move there, (see and in true-saviour-of-the-universe and Lord-of-all-fashion, He did so! SO I am anxiously awaiting the day they can bring him home to his forever family! I laugh at my own life today and the fact that I at one point I apologized to my sweet Mia for the crazy life i have brought her too and assured her that it is indeed a better life despite what today looked like! I love to see God do God sized things and am so thankful for ANOTHER opportunity to watch this! (Also glad it was from the side lines this time! )

Saturday, January 9, 2010

It's never like I think....

So many people have asked about how Mia is doing and adjusting. Over the last two months, a couple of things have continued to be clear as I have fielded and pondered that question. She is doing amazingly well! It has been myself and my husband who have needed the most help :-) I was talking to my husband's sister who is in the process of adopting from Russia right now, and she was asking about how to prepare for her little guy coming home and whether or not she should re-read some of the books or what not that were required reading for the adoption process. In all honesty, I told her no. I began to think about how the one who has had the most adjusting to do is me. My husband and I are blessed to have a friend/counselor who is a "father" of sorts in our lives who gives us wise counsel and meets with us when we need it. We both have had issues come to the surface since we have brought our sweet daughter home. We were able to meet with him and talk about some of these things. Time after time as he spoke of God's heart for us and how it is to be revealed through us to our kids, I was convicted at the apparent self-centeredness, need to control things, and just plain lack of unconditional love that I was seeing come to the surface in my life and all the ugly things that were coming out of me as a result of these unsanctified places in my heart. It was at this point that I began to think about the question regarding Mia's adjustment and realized that one of God's purposes in this adoption has been to refine my own heart and purify these things. I told my sister in law, that instead of trying to focus on all the things that could be issues with your child, instead, ask Him to begin to prepare her heart for what He is going to be doing in her. Don't get me wrong, it is good to have made yourself familiar with the "maybes" and to have access to these resources if needed, but for the most part, we, the parents, are the ones who have accrued decades worth of baggage, compared to the few months or years these little ones have been alive!

I love that God does not leave us as we are. He is not content to save us and let us continue to walk in our sin and selfishness! Praise you Father that you are not only willing but able to deliver us from ourselves! I am excited as I see us beginning to change and it is freeing us to just enjoy our sweet Mia. She is SUCH a delight! Her smile is so precious and I live seeing her just thrive and grow as she basks in our love and delight just as I am growing and changing under the smile and delight of my Father.