December 30, Jesus Calling Devotional:" I am leading you along a way that is uniquely right for you. The closer to Me you grow, the more fully you become your true self--the one I designed you to be. Because you are one of a kind the path you are traveling with Me diverges increasingly from that of other people."
For the last two days, I have been chewing on this and trying to determine why it speaks to my soul so deeply. Today as I once again sat down to spend a few moments with Him, it hit me (He learned me :-) I look to identify with others on their paths... sometimes, even trying to immulate the path they are on in my personal walk with God. Whether that be through how I express my faith, my "causes", or just how I view the specifics of how I relate to Him. The devotional goes on to say, "However, in My mysterious wisdom and ways, I enable you to follow this solitary path while staying in close contact with others." I and I think I could say "we" here (sneaking suspicion I am not alone in this) are constantly searching for who we are--we want our value, purpose, and call to be very defined. I want the Lord to define me and how I should handle life, what I am to do and who I am to be so that in any and all situations, I will know what the right thing is. Here is where I ask myself, "why?" "Because," He says, "you resist being soley dependent on Me." Guilty. I do....we do. Just give me the instructions. I want the plan because I don't want to screw things up. I don't want to be wrong. I want to be independent and self-sufficient. "But that is not how I designed you." He says. I MADE you to be dependent on Me. "My abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match." --J.C. "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." I am truly just a pot. It just hit me this morning that the only hope of being what I long in my soul to be, my only hope of loving others, helping, knowing what to do and how to live is to cleave to the one who made me, walking my solitary path, listening, asking, depending on Him at every turn and in every moment. Our journey is one of increasing dependence. In that, all that we need and were designed to be can come into fruition. Outside of dependence, self-righteousness can rule and we miss not only what we really are and are called to be, we miss true fellowship with Him.